Excerpts from Liverpool Limericks

by Jerry Markison
with illustrations by Dan Archer

Trial by Water

A plumber with previous, Jock,

One day got a watery shock.

He fell off the Pier Head

And reflected with dread,

"I always go down from the dock!" 

Comedy Numbers

Old Doddy's so "tattyfilarious".

His talents are many and various:

He can sing, tell a joke.

Spread cheer to all folk,

And his tax return's bloody hilarious!

Majorly Hot Currie

Edwina once penned a bestseller

About her affair with some feller.

She wrote, "Caution forbids

Any thoughts about kids,

For my eggs might contain salmonella!"

A Heroine To Many

A young lady from Southport, Aretha,

Had always thought selling beneath her.

She now gets a buzz

From outwitting the fuzz

Distributing drugs round Ibiza!